Superwoman, Volume 1: Who Killed Superwoman? by Phil JimenezMy rating: 2 of 5 stars
Netgalley kindly provided me a copy of this volume, which I read as soon as I'd finished Superman: Action Comics, Volume 2: Welcome to the Planet. This story is closely linked to the Superman one, so it helps to read them concurrently.
There is no way to write this review without spoilers, so tread carefully.
The story starts with an introduction to our two Superwomen. Lois Lane and Lana Lang were hit by New Earth's Superman's solar energy when he was killed. Subsequently they absorbed parts of his abilities - Lois has his more traditional powers, while Lana conducts electricity. They form an unlikely partnership as Lois looks to Lana for mentorship. Turns out, on this world, Lana and Clark Kent/Superman were close friends and Lana helped him reign in his powers. Lois just wants the same help.
The two women work for competitive media houses - Lois at Daily Planet and Lana, newly joining The Daily Star for their science segment. Just when they're getting used to their new lives, a strategic power outage cripples the armour of self-declared Superman, Lex Luthor, leaving Lois and Lana to do the rescuing.
This attack opens a can of worms - why were only Luthor technologies hit? While the Superwomen attempt to rediscover the truth, Lana's health begins to take a dive. And then... Lois is killed right in front of her, by a B-Zero. Apparently, that's a thing,
Turns out, these B-Zero-S work for an unknown antagonist - Lex' little sister Lena, thought to be dead, but in actuality in a coma, resting not-so-peacefully in a hi-tech dungeon below ground. Lex tried to use Superman's harnessed power to revive her, but instead made her into a monster. She captures Lex, cripples him, then commandeers his armour to place her disembodied head in, ostensibly to wreak havoc on Metropolis.
Superwoman, along with her boyfriend Steel, Steel's niece Natasha, Natasha's girlfriend Traci 13, Natasha's ex-flame Leti, Lois Lane's ghost, a defective B-Zero, Kryptonite Man's head, purple Skeletor dude, Daily Star's news producer Nadidah (a hijabi!, I'm so stoked) and random people, must come to the rescue. Yes, it's as stupid as it sounds.
In the end, the good guys win, Lex looks like the bad guy he is, the ghost of Lois Lane haunting Lana turns out to be the living Lois Lane (I've given up trying to understand that) and everyone is happy till Lana Lang dies the same way as Lois. Or well, we think she's dying. Who knows. These are comics - trust no death.
In the history of reading comic books, never have I read one that felt verbose and overlong - till this one. It is packed with words, most of which say the same thing over and over. The interplay between the two Superwomen was the best part, but Lois is bumped off in the very second issue. Far too many pages were dedicated to drawn out action sequences, none of which showcased much creativity, in fact they were often confusing and confounding.
An epic number of pages is dedicated to purple skeletor dude yelling that he won't go back to prison because they're torturing the prisoners, but instead of Superwoman and Steel simply saying, 'stop firing at people, we won't take you back there, tell us what you know', they keep attacking him, and not listening to him, thereby prolonging the scene and the length of the book for no valid reason.
The panel placement needed work - you never knew which direction to read in, and even when you did, there appeared to be gaps in the conversations or thoughts.
Continuity-wise, these characters seem to have been plonked in for convenience. Superwoman, neither of them, was mentioned by Lois or Superman till Lana actually showed up. And given that Lois was Superwomaning for a while, how come Superman never tried to engage with her?
Throughout this volume, Lana mourns the loss of her best friend Clark Kent, who died as Superman, but it was proven in the Superman rebirth comics that Clark and Superman were two different people on this Earth. But, Lana never discusses this, nor does she go looking for Clark (who has been captured by Lena Luthor, by the way. For what reason, I don't think they even tried to clarify). I don't think the authors of this series spoke to the Superman ones.
Since this comic is written by a primarily all-male team, and their protagonist is a woman, she is given several handicaps that do not allow her to be the sole hero fighting the good fight. She's talked down to almost constantly by Steel, who never respects her wishes. While a crucial fight is going on, she's at home having nightmares.
She is the sole enemy of the big bad, which makes no sense at all - why would Lena even have a vendetta against this woman? She hates her brother, make an example of him, take over Lexcorp and be the most powerful person on the planet! Nope, the writers conjure up a convoluted, incomprehensible plot where Lena wants to take over the world (or something) by becoming a machine. All while leaving her brother alive. She maligns his name, but doesn't take advantage of the same - it's daft.
And how does Superwoman tackle her? By giving her a nonsensical, condescending, gender-based spiel that makes no sense to anyone but the writers of this.
It's important to note that we have a Superwoman, who is addicted to prescription drugs, is scared to bits all the time, doesn't listen to anyone, sides with a known sociopath (Lex Luthor, don't ask) and has no empathy for prisoners being tortured. As mentioned, she also gets talked down to by her boyfriend in a public place, several times... I just can't even with DC. Seriously.
The prison torture stuff is thrown in to show how bad Lex is and I'd be fine with Lana not caring about some discipline on convicts, but experimentation and torture is unacceptable. And, she reveals her disinterest in their pain despite Steel reminding her that he has a brother in that same prison. What?
This entire volume was torturous, and it's a real shame, given that a Superwoman is a nice deviation from the all-male comics we usually get. But if it's going to be this substandard and have such little respect for the character and for women in general, we'd be better off not having it in the first place. Let's just head back to the Birds of Prey, at least they're a fun lot with rounded characters.
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