Why Would I Watch A Black Widow Movie?

Ensign Lestat's Film Log, 28/03/2014

A few weeks ago I woke up, still half asleep and asked myself, why exactly would I watch a Black Widow movie? It was an odd question but it was most likely brought on by the many article headlines I've come across about the lack of a BW solo project (this one in particular, where Johansson says she'll talk to Marvel about it). To be honest there's no reason why there shouldn't be a film about her as it would be full of suspense, realistic hand-to-hand combat along with a seriously clever female lead. So I wonder to myself why the hesitation on the part of Marvel?

There is this innate belief in Hollywood that female-led films don't do well at the box office. Considering most people hate going to the movies in many countries because they are in shambles and attract all the wrong sorts, perhaps Hollywood's problem lies more in the grassroots.

Then there's the problem of stories. Films rarely capture your imagination nowadays because they're all so utterly the same and so utterly lame. Not all. There's the refreshing Inception and her and the magnificence of Gravity. These are still the more fun commercial fare that the likes of me would watch.

But for the most part it's adaptations and remakes. The indie stuff doesn't get much of a look in globally. Definitely not where I live for sure.

Hollywood is where we all look to for film spectacles often forgetting that there are some fabulous pieces being made the world over. But that is a blog for another day.

Back to BW. I have had little connection with her in the comics as I read more X-Men. However there is enough lore to make a really good absorbing film. But do they have the star to pull it off? Johansson cannot hold her own against the massive male star cast, but I don't believe all of that is her fault. She's the youngest Avenger in the films (that will change in Avengers 2 because of the inclusion of two really young stars). She's the only female and she has no powers. To top it all her character was first written into the 2nd Iron Man film as the secretary to Tony Stark's former PA! With that introduction we immediately place her on a lower pedestal than all the others.

In The Avengers she uses her intelligence to gain information but is out of her comfort zone when it comes to the action. She's shown as scared while Hawkeye, also without powers, is gung ho and wants to take on a god.

On a catwalk with guns...
BW returns in Captain America: Winter Soldier and that bothers me. How big a role she has I do not know but she's on all the posters and is in the trailers. But that's not half as important as what she does in the film and how much or how little she ruins it. This by the way is coming from the same person who despised the first Captain America film when she first watched it. When I finally watched for a second and consequently a third time it was last year and I loved it. It was funny and pacey and emotional. And I loved Peggy Carter.

There's also the issue that the inclusion of BW in a Cap film diminishes his standing, which I do not want as Cap or rather Chris Evans is the one I'm going to watch the film for.

This brings me back to my original point. Why would I watch a BW solo film? Not for Johansson who I do not like. I would essentially watch it if there is male eye candy in it. Yes, I freely admit that unless it's Oscar season all the films I watch nowadays is because of some dude. This is dreadfully bizarre of me I know.

Here's the thing, I like eye candy in my films so I've ended up watching a lot of crap simply because Eye Candy A was starring in it. And on the rare occasion watching that film leads to falling for Eye Candy B.

But I digress. Fact is it's not that I don't want to watch a film with a female lead, it's simply the fact that I don't trust Hollywood. Going over a bunch of trailers last week I couldn't help but notice that they predominantly featured male casts with a sole token woman who looks like the usual vapid emaciated creature. And for this reason I fear a film, especially a comic book film about a female character.

Think about it. As much as I love Arrow, a series I sat down to watch because it was a DC character (and not because my future self told me that there would be plenty of eye candy to ogle) I'm not blind to the fact that the female heroes come a distant second to the male ones (with the stunning exception of the past week's episode, which dealt primarily with two of the female leads and a female villain). If Black Canary has suffered and learnt as much as the Arrow then how come he still worries about her and she keeps needing protection?

So yeah, why I don't put any faith into a film with female heroes is because I'll set my standards at average only for Hollywood to ruin it and still laugh its way to the bank. And don't get me started on the stupid excuses Hollywood, the cast, the crew and the blind audience will make for the poor execution of the female character.

And that especially applies to comic book films as comics are already an eye sore for female readers whether we still keep reading them or not.

I'm all for strong female characters and protagonists. But Hollywood's impression of the same is usually at odds with mine. We've seen only one bright spark in recent years - Feora-Ul in Man of Steel. She held her own, was seriously scary and died a notable, memorable death.

Give me a surety that the female protagonist actually looks like she can fight and defend the world (not an emaciated person who's never hit the gym), has genuinely grand motivations not to do with the love of some guy, doesn't only use her female guile (just regular guile) to get her work done and wears an outfit that ably defends her body (and one which we don't have to see her get in and out of every other scene - we all know how to wear clothes, thank you).

Till then I may just drag myself to the theatre, but I'll be full of trepidation throughout. R.E.S.P.E.C.T. that's all we ask for for our female heroes.

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